Who ever said, "Let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs.   The first thing you discover when you bring a Pitbull into your bed is the striking difference in weight between an alert, awake Pitbull and a Pitbull at rest.

Rule#1: The deeper the sleep the heavier the Pitbull.

Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring Pitbull to a more appropriate part of the bed.   Cunning Pitbulls steal precious space in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the bed, with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping.   The stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory.   Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred.   A jealous dog can worm his way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.

Rule #2: The deeper the sleep the louder the Pitbull.

As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet Pitbull begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible.   Once that quiets down, the Pitbull dog dreams begin.   Yipping, growling, running, kicking.   Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of Pitbull fantasy.   It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night like a banshee wail.   The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years.   It is particularly devastating when your Pitbull pup insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.

Rule #3: When the dog wakes, you wake.

The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not claimed by a Pitbull. The Pitbull dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dogflesh sleeps breathing heavily and passing wind.   Then, too soon, it's dawn and the heap stirs.   Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack.   One may position itself centimeters from a face and stare until you wake.   The clever Pitbull obtains excellent results simply by sneezing on your face, or they could roam all over your sleeping bodies, or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting ear.

So, why do we put up with this?   There's no sane reason.   Perhaps it's just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night, safe, contented, heavy and loud.